I’d Rather Be (or, Lightyears Away)

(as a follow up to On Chicken Wings, and I suspect you can guess the tune…)

Here in this place, bright light is streaming,
Now is the dentist drilling away.
See in this place, my fear and my screaming,
Accepting the punishment for tooth decay.

I’d rather be washing old dirty dishes,
I’d rather be walking miles in the rain,
Than here on my back, with anaethesia,
Praying the drill doesn’t enter my brain!

He says, “Open wide, I can’t see way back there,
How can I fix it, only by feel?”
So I take a deep breath, say a quick prayer,
And hope if he slips that the damage will heal.

I’d rather be doing calculus problems,
I’d rather be cleaning hair from the drain,
Than here on my back, with anaesthesia,
Praying the drill doesn’t enter my brain!

Things are progressing, I’d almost say nicely,
Three cavities down, and one more to do,
But one little nerve is blocked only mildly,
He enters the pulp, I think I might sue…

I’d rather be trapped on a small island,
I’d rather be mumbling, declared insane,
Than here on my back, with anaesthesia,
Praying the drill doesn’t enter my brain!

The torture is through, my terror is ending,
I leap from the chair, not feeling so ill,
But here in this place, one rule is unbending,
Before leaving the office, you must pay your bill!

I’d rather be saving for a vacation,
But yet, on the whole, I cannot complain.
Despite all my fears, in jubilation,
That horrible drill didn’t enter my brain!


11 Responses to “I’d Rather Be (or, Lightyears Away)”

  1. 1 Argent October 17, 2006 at 6:28 pm

    LOLOLOL! We’re singing “Gather” this Sunday. The children’s choir is making an appearance and they’re leading the singing for the Presentation of Gifts.

  2. 2 Edmund C. October 17, 2006 at 6:30 pm

    Thank you, thank you… I couldn’t think of any better metaphor for how I feel about singing that particular song than a dentist visit…

  3. 3 Wonders for Oyarsa October 18, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    Ed, count your blessings. You could be singing this one that was a staple at a megachurch me and my folks once attended:

    I’m so secure
    You’re here with me.
    You stay the same
    Your love remains
    here in my heart.

    So close I believe
    You’re holding me now,
    in Your hands I belong.
    You’ll never let me go;
    So close I believe
    You’re holding me now
    in Your hands I belong,
    You’ll never let me go.

    You gave Your life
    and Your endless love.
    You set me free
    & show the way
    now I am found


    All along You were beside me
    even when I couldn’t tell
    and through the years
    You showed me more of You
    more of You


    Suddonly “Gather Us In” doesn’t sound so bad…

  4. 4 Edmund C. October 18, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    Ack! That sounds like a mid 80’s love ballad… I can almost see the big hair and funky synthesizers now!

  5. 5 Penny October 18, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Oy! We get to sing “Awesome God” once a month as the recessional. Shudders: “When He rolls up His sleeves, He ain’t just puttin’ on the ritz, (our God is an awesome God)…”

    I normally stay until the very last verse of the recessional. But with this one, you can bet I’m the first out the door.

  6. 6 Edmund C. October 18, 2006 at 3:26 pm

    And the sad thing about Awesome God is that the composer, Rich Mullins, wrote so many great song before his untimely death (right before he was to be received into the Catholic Church).

  7. 7 Wonders for Oyarsa October 18, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    Now Ed, you know better than to be propogating such viscous urban legends…

  8. 8 Edmund C. October 18, 2006 at 3:38 pm

    Indeed, that particular urban legend is a bit sticky, isn’t it… 😉

    Never seen anything to make me doubt it…

  9. 9 Wonders for Oyarsa October 18, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    The Color Green by Rich Mullins

    And the moon is a sliver of silver
    Like a shaving that fell on the floor of a Carpenter’s shop
    And every house must have it’s builder
    And I awoke in the house of God
    Where the windows are mornings and evenings
    Stretched from the sun
    Across the sky north to south
    And on my way to early meeting
    I heard the rocks crying out

    Be praised for all Your tenderness by these works of Your hands
    Suns that rise and rains that fall to bless and bring to life Your land
    Look down upon this winter wheat and be glad that You have made
    Blue for the sky and the color green that fills these fields with praise

    And the wrens have returned and they’re nesting
    In the hollow of that oak where his heart once had been
    And he lifts up his arms in a blessing for being born again
    And the streams are all swollen with winter
    Winter unfrozen and free to run away now
    And I’m amazed when I remember
    Who it was that built this house
    And with the rocks I cry out

  10. 10 CMinor January 10, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    Ouch! Just trying to sing it gives me a toothache! Excellent work!

  1. 1 Ed’s back « The Road Well Traveled Trackback on October 18, 2006 at 4:12 pm

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