Rosebud

(Updated 6/10/06 PM)

Last night, I watched the best film I’ve ever seen, without a doubt. And, no that’s not because it’s on everyone’s list as the best movie ever made. Citizen Kane is exactly that. Sure, it’s a technical marvel for something made in 1941; the camerawork is amazing, and the makeup artists turn 25 year old Orson Welles into a very convincing 70 year old man. But, the story is just as good.

As a child, Charles Foster Kane loses everything he loves when his parents send him, permanently, across the country to live with a guardian and go to the best schools. The trauma leads to a man who cannot love, but demands to be loved by everyone. How this perverted drive for love leads him to great wealth, then to lose it all, is harrowing. He loses his son, two wives, a fortune–everything, all because he cannot love. So, he dies, alone in a huge castle in the middle of nowhere, his last word being the name of the sled that was pried away from him when his guardian took him away from the life in rural Colorado that he loved.

Such a story makes you really step back and assess your own life, or at least it did to me. What is important? Well, for one, vain intellectual pursuits aren’t, like interminable arguments with my parish liturgist which never change either one of us. Neither is blogging. Oddly, I can see a pattern: as I get more wrapped up in the latest news, the latest argument, my latest essay, other things suffer: first and foremost, I don’t pray as much, and I sin more. Work also suffers, though not nearly to the same degree.

So, it’s time to get things in order around here. Some folks can blog and so on and maintain their sanctity. I cannot, or at least I cannot right now. I’ll leave the site up in case I change my mind, but for now, I will limit myself to occasional topical writing, but not responding every day to my various whims and various news.

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5 Responses to “Rosebud”


  1. 1 Jeni June 10, 2006 at 10:12 am

    Ed,

    I feel your heartache and frustration. I think we must re-evaluate what we do, and why. Why do we speak out against our Bishops? Why do we get caught up in the latest scandal? Did you know that Saint Pio slapped the man who dared to speak against the Bishop, who was having an AFFAIR?! Saint Pio told this man, ” Who are you to judge?! You are nothing but a thief and a sinner!” I have begun to re-evaluate what I do and say. I have begun to desire to be more like the saints….but how to do so? How to make myself holy in the midst of this upside world? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. We must search our own hearts and take the log out of our eye before we take the speck out of our brothers.

    Ed, your right. We must get back to a life of prayer and devotion to God. We know the Truth, let us pray daily that God reveals the Truth to those around us. Let us pray for deep and fervent renewals in our diocese. Let us storm the gates of Heaven and beg Saint Pio, Saint Rita and all the other saints and angels to pray for us and our Church.

  2. 2 Theocoid June 10, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    Hey, Ed.

    With only a few exceptions, I try to do the same thing. If found the constant antipathy to be too wearing on my own spiritual life. Currently, I’m trying to limit my posts to personal reflections and my theology studies. But occasionally one of those snippy posts slips in there.

  3. 3 Jimbo June 11, 2006 at 1:07 am

    Saint Pio defended the Bishop…St. Catherine called the Pope to reform his actions…six of one, half a dozen of another. Faced with Bishops like Weakland and Mahoney, I think it is more likely sinful NOT to speak out against them. Pio’s a saint, not neccessarily infallible.

  4. 4 Chad June 11, 2006 at 8:11 am

    I think I have to side with Jimbo here, Jeni. Maybe the key is why we speak out. If our bishop is a lecher, that’s one thing; if he’s actively teaching heresy, that’s another altogether. When Mahony placidly sits watching dancing girls during a Mass in which he is presiding, or actively embraces the homosexuals in his diocese, that’s something that we should absolutely speak out against.

  5. 5 Jeni June 12, 2006 at 10:15 am

    In many ways I totally agree. And, I think as you all know, I am one of the first to speak out! I look from Saint Pio who was persecuted by the Bishops, horribly persecuted, and Mother Angelica who has also been persecuted by the Bishops. Both handled the situations in totally different ways. Saint Pio refused to speak out publicly against a Bishop who was having affairs. Mother Angelica, and those who have died and been named saints, speak out boldly. I think when we speak out we must be doing our best, at the same time, to remove sin from our own lives. Saint Pio was not infallible, but he knows about suffering, persecution and horrible Bishops…more then we know dare I say…but Jimbo is right. Some saints speak out others do not. I would also add it is not that Saint Pio would not speak out but that he would not disrespect these men. I think Saint Pio changed the people…from the inside out. He impacted them in such a way that they saw the Bishops for what they were. If we make a difference in our parishes etc…I truly beleive people will begin to realize the Bishops for what they are. This can ONLY be accomplished by storming heavens gates and asking the saints to pray for us.


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