(Updated 6/10/06 PM)
Last night, I watched the best film I’ve ever seen, without a doubt. And, no that’s not because it’s on everyone’s list as the best movie ever made. Citizen Kane is exactly that. Sure, it’s a technical marvel for something made in 1941; the camerawork is amazing, and the makeup artists turn 25 year old Orson Welles into a very convincing 70 year old man. But, the story is just as good.
As a child, Charles Foster Kane loses everything he loves when his parents send him, permanently, across the country to live with a guardian and go to the best schools. The trauma leads to a man who cannot love, but demands to be loved by everyone. How this perverted drive for love leads him to great wealth, then to lose it all, is harrowing. He loses his son, two wives, a fortune–everything, all because he cannot love. So, he dies, alone in a huge castle in the middle of nowhere, his last word being the name of the sled that was pried away from him when his guardian took him away from the life in rural Colorado that he loved.
Such a story makes you really step back and assess your own life, or at least it did to me. What is important? Well, for one, vain intellectual pursuits aren’t, like interminable arguments with my parish liturgist which never change either one of us. Neither is blogging. Oddly, I can see a pattern: as I get more wrapped up in the latest news, the latest argument, my latest essay, other things suffer: first and foremost, I don’t pray as much, and I sin more. Work also suffers, though not nearly to the same degree.
So, it’s time to get things in order around here. Some folks can blog and so on and maintain their sanctity. I cannot, or at least I cannot right now. I’ll leave the site up in case I change my mind, but for now, I will limit myself to occasional topical writing, but not responding every day to my various whims and various news.