For those who missed it

Someone, unbeknownst to me, taped my dissertation defense, and uploaded it to YouTube. If anyone wonders what we biochemists study, here you go:

We’re Dealin’

The Mission Territory Parody Department is back after an extended break. I will leave it to my devoted reader(s) to determine my ulterior motive at this characterization…

(to the tune of “We Are Called“)

Come! We’re open tonight!
Drive ’round the lot, our prices are right,
All our cars passed a ten-point inspection,
And for your protection,
Our best guarantee…

Chorus:

Buy our cars! We’re sure that you’ll like ‘em!
Buy our cars! Get a beach trip for free!
Buy our cars! No credit? No problem!
There something for one, and for all!

What? Can’t find our lot?
Just look for the spotlight off I-95!
We have all our cars washed, waxed and spotless!
Forget our street address?
Find the American flag!

Chorus

Look! Our special this week
Is a ‘96 Taurus with ten thousand miles!
It was owned, by a granny from Cincy,
Drove only on Sundays,
To the church down the street!

Chorus

Once you’ve purchased a car,
For service, don’t worry, we’ll handle it all!
From your oil, to a bad alternator,
Or something more major,
No job’s too big or too small!

Chorus

You know you’ve been thinking about evolution too much when…

You read this headline on CNN, “Whales may have slipped into ocean,” and start thinking about what must have happened when the first primordial whale ancestor fell into the ocean and found that he could swim.

You can’t make this stuff up

Moments of pure irony from the past few days:

California legislator who voted for a cell phone while driving ban gets in wreck…while talking on the phone.

New York Times makes a spelling mistake in an article on Dan Quayle.

I think I may make this a regular feature…

The real reason not to make animal-human hybrids

The Caveman has discovered why we should not mix human and animal DNA to create a hybrid. Don’t say I didn’t warn you before clicking.

The cure for traditionalist blues

Imagine going to confession with Pope John XII.

“Oh, that’s not that bad. I’ve done worse, and I’m the Pope!”

Further evidence of cultural decline…

Text from the website of a local pet grooming salon (I kid you not, but I just can’t bring myself to give you the link…)

* Along with full service grooming, we also offer:
* Toe grinding
* Tooth brushing
* Deshidding service
* Dematting and hand scissoring

* And for those who like to walk on the wild side, we also offer: And nail polishing

* We have collars, leads, pet jackets, toys, treats, basic grooming items and more!

* We have supper senoir discounts, regular client discunts, referral rewards, and seeing-eye, search and rescue dogs get free nail trims or tooth brushing!

We use Espree products! All natural, humin ingreadiants . no animal testing! You can see & feel the difference in qualty shampoos and conditioners!

Where I Am, Lord

I’d almost forgotten that I had started composing a new parody, so after a long delay, I give you:

Refrain:

Will you meet me
Where I am, Lord?
What I feel, Lord, must always be right.
I won’t go, Lord,
You can’t lead me,
All your people follow their own hearts.

Why, O Lord? I don’t know why,
It just makes me want to cry,
All this talk of mortal sin.
Won’t you still save?

refrain

I have tossed and turned all night.
There isn’t any darkness, right?
Won’t all live forevermore
In your embrace?

refrain

Look at all those hearts of stone!
They want me to come on home,
Why won’t they leave me alone?
I am OK!

refrain

(feel free to add more verses…)

Separated at birth?

I was reading the news this morning, and a photograph of our next Speaker of the House struck a random chord…


Hmmm….

This hasn’t happened to me in my research (yet)

(HT: the Cannonball, via Mulier Fortis)